Wouldn't it be Like You

July 17th, 2023

If I came here for You

I should have known there

would be beauty beyond compare

just waiting for me there.

You’re so much better

than every imagination

so much richer,

filled with more color,

so many depths and layers

still yet to uncover.

The glory of your splendor

is stunning even now

as you show me that you see me

and all my fears and doubts:

“If even a fraction of you

thinks this is good right now,

(and I know you do

because I’ve taught you to)

Just you wait.

It gets better.

What lies ahead

will be well worth the pain.”

The sky is lit with color

when I come with my towel

to sit on the soft beach sand.

It’s lovely

and I think “this is enough”.

But while I sit and wait

The clouds shift and change

until the rounded peak

of a glowing sun lifts

above the horizon line.

My lips part in awe and the seconds tick by

as this glowing orb breaks through the morning sky

and it is

gorgeous

breathtaking

awe-inspiring

and You remind me

you’ll do so much better

than just lovely with me.

November, 2024

I wrote the above poem during a season of unease and anxiety.

I praise Him looking back as I consider the way He never stopped revealing Himself to me even when I didn’t want to see it. It took a lot of humility and honesty to admit that all I wanted was for Him to do something, not give me Himself.

And still, every time I finally unfurl my white-knuckled fists and surrender the plan I’ve been clinging to, He not only ministers to me with all of Himself, He reminds me His way is always better. It’s not just enough, it’s gloriously sweeter than I could have dreamt up.

Whenever I listen to this month’s Selah song, the bridge moves my heart without fail:

Help me be like Mary,

Laid down, pouring out.

And I won’t miss You in a crowd,

‘Cause I know Your voice

and I know the sound.

I want this to be my testimony, but sometimes I forget that it requires a letting go first.

I don’t forget my dreams, but I let the wind carry my specific plan off my palms to leave space for what God is trying to do in and through me right now.

I let Him catch my tears of grief as He builds contentment in me, one day of manna at a time.

I lay down and pour out. I give the sweetest things I have to give: my heart and longings. My gifts and talents. My praise in sorrow and joy. And He only ever handles them with care. He only ever does the good and better work with them.

He’s been showing up in ways we didn’t expect from the very beginning. It was that very unconventional showing up that ended up saving the world.

This season may we praise our God, who sent His son. May we rejoice that a tiny babe came and gave His life so that ours would be saved.